after so many months of trying to fix things and make it work i had to throw in the towel
i wanted to fill the void of missing my dad with the love of someone else i allowed physical emotional and mental abuse because i did not want to give up on what i thought was love and be disappointed that i threw it away i gave so much of myself that when i was at my weakest all i could do is let him back into my life so i could be at least half of myself and even though i have been without his abuse i still find it hard to gather my little pieces i want to be able to move on but i am trapped in a matrix where my reality of hurt is not something of this world it is a hybrid of worse things to come when i think about all that i go thru and new bruises new wounds old wounds reopen and ooze blood sweat tears disappointment pain frustration grief heartbreak anxiety depression mania time supposedly heals all wounds sounds like bullshit
