I think I am stepping in the wrong direction... my world which once faded a way is tragically trying to re-emerge. people are drifting closer, old habits leave a watering mouth, I feel like death is the easy way out but I want to fight this battle, i am just afraid to lose. i dont have the courage to face myself again, because self hatred is there. Self pity is present. self doubt in the forefront, and the faith i had that was the size of a mustard seed is being dug up from the soil.